Childhood experiences and lack of self-confidence: how therapy helped restore the connection with oneself.

When self-distrust becomes everyday life

Many people seek therapy because of low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, loneliness, or a constant feeling of being inferior to others. Often, only during therapy does it gradually become clear that the roots of these experiences lie much further back in life.
Laura came to therapy with similar difficulties.
“I felt vulnerable, I lacked self-confidence and inner peace. I had difficulties communicating with people – I would shut down in uncomfortable situations or want to run away.”
Her greatest pain was not just anxiety.
“The hardest part for me was feeling lonely.”
In everyday life, this meant sadness, constant comparison with others, and a feeling of being inferior.
“I felt sad, I felt uncomfortable interacting with people, I felt inferior to others.”

Before therapy, Laura rarely paused to ask herself why she felt that way.
“I would often blame myself or those around me.”

When you begin to hear yourself. Therapy does not always start with answers. Sometimes it starts with the opportunity to safely stop, listen to yourself, and look at your inner world without blame. The most important part of this therapeutic experience for Laura was not getting ready-made answers, but discovering a new relationship with herself.
“The most important thing for me was that I learned to support myself, I established a connection with myself. The therapist’s support was also very important to me.”
At one point in therapy, something that had been missing for a long time appeared.
“Inner peace came. I understood what kind of connection I had needed all along.”

Sometimes the biggest change begins not when circumstances change, but when a person’s relationship with themselves changes. Self-confidence begins to grow.

After therapy, Laura noticed that she began to see herself differently.
“After therapy, I gained more self-confidence, I began to love myself more and understand my needs and feelings better.”

When remembering herself as a child, Laura no longer feels only pain. Where there was once loneliness and doubt, today there is more warmth, compassion, and acceptance.
“Now when I remember myself as a little girl, I feel warmth and love for that inner child. I feel that I am not alone.”

When asked what she would like to say today to the little girl within herself, Laura replied:
“You are enough. You are talented and can achieve everything you dream of. If you don’t understand something the first time, it doesn’t mean you are stupid or untalented. You are worthy of being communicated with respectfully and, if needed, having your question answered calmly as many times as you need. You are worthy of being believed in and of having your abilities believed in.”

These words became not only a wish for herself. They became the beginning of a new relationship with herself. The greatest discovery.

When asked what she takes away from this therapeutic experience into her life, Laura replied:
“It matters how I speak to myself. By showing myself love and understanding, I help myself grow. By supporting myself, I have more strength to achieve what I dream of.”
And to a person who is experiencing similar difficulties today, she would like to say:
“Other people’s unkind behavior toward you is not a reflection of your worth. I wish you to let go of the shadows of the past and turn a new page today. Start it with supporting yourself, especially when things don’t go well. Believe that the future is bright, and you are the one creating it. And at the same time, be in the present – notice and cherish the good you already have.

“What does this story remind us?
Criticism experienced in childhood, lack of emotional safety, or constant devaluation can contribute to:

• low self-esteem;
• lack of self-confidence;
• fear of making mistakes;
• sensitivity to criticism;
• difficulties in relationships;
• a constant feeling of being inadequate.

However, this is not a person’s destiny. When a person begins to develop a more respectful, gentler, and more compassionate relationship with themselves, more inner peace, self-confidence, and freedom to live according to their values can emerge.
Each person’s story is unique. Therefore, in therapy, it is important not to look for universal answers, but to understand individual experience and together seek a path toward change.

♥️ I sincerely thank Laura for her trust and permission to share her story anonymously. I believe that every story can become hope for a person who feels lonely today, doubts themselves, or no longer believes that change is possible.

If while reading this story you recognized a part of yourself… Know that you are not alone. Sometimes we carry beliefs about ourselves formed in childhood for many years and do not even notice how they affect our relationships, choices, and quality of life. Therapy is not about “fixing” a person. It is about the opportunity to understand yourself better, restore your connection with yourself, and discover more inner peace.
If you feel that it is time to take care of yourself, I invite you to register for individual therapy.

🌿 More information and registration:
www.rutajanuleviciene.lt
Rūta Janulevičienė

• CPTT – Certified Practitioner in Psychogenealogy and Transgenerational Therapy
• Psychodrama Practitioner (under supervision)
• Psychodrama Assistant
• Veriditas Labyrinth Facilitator