All my life, I carried a burden that wasn’t mine.

“I carried a burden that was never mine. I realized that for a long time I had been carrying a burden that, in reality, did not belong to me.”

Sometimes a person lives their daily life, builds relationships, raises children, works—and at first glance, everything seems fine. Yet in certain situations, a feeling keeps returning that is difficult to explain rationally.

• Sometimes even anger.

And then the person begins to ask themselves:

“Why do I react this way when, in reality, nothing bad is happening?”

This was Airina’s experience as well. A fear that seemed to have no reason.

Airina came to therapy not because there had been a crisis in her life. At first glance, everything seemed fine. Yet one particular situation kept triggering the same feeling. Whenever her partner and their son went away for a few days, Airina would be overwhelmed by intense anxiety. She knew there was no real reason to be afraid. She trusted her family. But inside her lived a fear she could not explain.

She would begin imagining the worst-case scenarios, become more emotionally sensitive, withdraw into herself, and sometimes even become angry with the people closest to her. Deep inside, one question kept growing louder:

“What is wrong with me?”

It seemed as though she was simply too sensitive and unable to control her emotions.

A heavy backpack.

During therapy, a completely different picture unfolded before Airina. Through symbolic work, she encountered a heavy backpack. The moment she felt it, she realized just how exhausted she truly was. It was as if she had spent her whole life carrying an enormous weight without ever questioning whether it was actually hers.

The greatest turning point came when she realized that most of this burden did not belong to her at all.

“This gave me hope. I realized I don’t have to carry what isn’t mine.”

As she returned to her mother what belonged to her mother’s life story, Airina experienced many emotions. There was sadness. There was anger. There was compassion. But along with them came peace.

“It felt as though, for the first time, I allowed myself, even if only for a moment, to simply be myself instead of being the person who has to carry everyone else’s pain.”

The Stone: “I Am Being Left”

As the journey continued, Airina encountered another important symbol.

A stone.

Written on it were the words:

“I am being left.”

In that moment, she realized this fear had lived within her for a very long time. It was deeply rooted and much older than her current relationship.

But what surprised Airina even more was another discovery.

The fear was not her enemy.

For a long time, it had been trying to protect her from pain. It was simply doing so in a way that may once have been necessary, but today was preventing her from living more freely.

When the Heavy Stone Became a Butterfly

At the end of therapy, a symbolic transformation took place.

The heavy stone turned into a butterfly with yellow wings. For Airina, it became a symbol of freedom, lightness, and transformation.

“I felt that fear can become not only something painful, but also something beautiful and comforting. I no longer see my fear as a weakness.”

After therapy, Airina noticed that the situations which had once caused intense anxiety no longer felt so threatening. When her partner and son go away now, she still misses them. But she no longer experiences the overwhelming anxiety she once did.

“I feel so much more peaceful. I know they will come back, and our love does not diminish because of their absence.”

She also noticed changes in her body:

• A sense of lightness appeared.
• Tension and anxiety decreased.
• Her breathing became deeper.
• She felt more inner peace.

Today, Airina also sees her fear differently.

“I no longer see it as a weakness. Now I understand that it was part of my life story, but it doesn’t have to control my present.”

During therapy, she also realized something else that was deeply important:

“I realized that I am much stronger than I thought. I also realized that I can let go of what doesn’t belong to me and choose to live only with what truly belongs to me.”

What would Airina say today to someone living with the fear of being abandoned?

“I would like to tell them that they are not alone. This fear can be worked with, understood, and it is possible to learn to live more freely. Change really is possible.”

She describes her inner transformation in one sentence:

“I moved from fear and heaviness toward greater peace, trust, and inner lightness.”

And one of the most meaningful insights she carried with her after this therapeutic experience is:

“Even the heaviest stone weighing me down can become a butterfly and soothe me through its transformation.”

I asked Airina what that same butterfly with yellow wings would say to her today if she closed her eyes and saw it again.

Her answer:

“You are safe. I love you. You no longer need to live in fear—you can trust life and allow yourself to be free. You are not being abandoned.” ♥️

I sincerely thank Airina for her trust, openness, courage, and for allowing me to share her story.

Every person’s therapeutic journey is unique. The symbols that emerge during the therapeutic process arise from that individual’s personal experience and are never planned in advance. Sometimes what is difficult to express in words becomes visible through an image, a symbol, or a bodily sensation—and this allows a person to begin understanding their inner experience in a new way.

Airina’s story is published for educational purposes with her consent and with full respect for her personal experience.

Perhaps you recognized a part of yourself in this story?

Perhaps rationally you know that everything is fine, yet in certain situations you are still overwhelmed by intense anxiety.

Perhaps you are afraid of being abandoned.

Perhaps the emotional distance or temporary absence of someone close to you awakens feelings whose intensity you cannot explain.

Or perhaps you feel that for many years you have been carrying an emotional burden without yet knowing how much of it truly belongs to you.

In therapy, you do not need to know all the answers in advance. We can begin with what you are feeling today and, together, explore your unique story, your relationships, your emotions, and your inner resources.

If you feel that the time has come to take care of yourself, I warmly invite you to register for individual therapy.

More information and registration:

💫 www.rutajanuleviciene.lt

Let us journey inward together. ♥️

With warmth,

Rūta Janulevičienė 🌸🌸

• CPTT – Certified Practitioner in Psychogenealogy and Transgenerational Therapy
• Psychodrama Practitioner (under supervision)
• Psychodrama Assistant
• Veriditas Labyrinth Facilitator

Each client’s experience is unique. The course and outcomes of therapy may vary from person to person.